


An Apple a Day

by sakuuya



Category: Battle for London in the Air (Roleplay)
Genre: Dr. J is not a mom friend, Fake Irish slang, Gen, Real facts about Victorian fruit-eating, bless his heart, this is REAL dumb y'all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26973241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakuuya/pseuds/sakuuya
Summary: Andrew hasn't come round for dinner lately, and Dr. Jhandir is worried about his diet.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5
Collections: Battle for London-in-the-Air Canon





	An Apple a Day

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this (dumb) story in 2018 as a birthday present to myself, haha. The fake slang in it was bequeathed unto me by [closetcellist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/closetcellist/pseuds/closetcellist).

Dr. Jhandir raised his cane to knock on Andrew’s door, but it opened before the handle met wood. 

“Doc? What’re you doing here? I was just heading to work.”

“Here. I got this for you.” Dr. Jhandir thrust the covered basket he was holding out toward Andrew, who took it reflexively as the doctor let go.

“Thanks,” Andrew said automatically as he lifted up a corner of the blanket. “It’s...fruit? Why’d you bring me fruit?”

“Because you haven’t been by for supper in nearly a week, and I’m worried about your health. I’ve seen the kind of things you eat when left to your own devices.”

“Well, I’ve been seeing a lot of Captain French these days, so I—what is this?” Andrew had been rummaging around in the basket as he spoke, but apparently the appearance of an unfamiliar fruit derailed his train of thought.

“It’s a banana. They’re from the Caribbean originally, but I believe these ones were grown in a hothouse.”

Andrew put the banana back. “Thanks all the same, but I think I’ll stick with fruits I’ve seen before, for the moment.”

“Fine,” Dr. Jhandir said, waving his hand. “There are apples and oranges in there as well. Some grapes, too. I included shears.”

“Why would I need…” Andrew started, then appeared to think better of it “All right. Thanks.” When Dr. Jhandir remained firmly in his doorway, he added. “Do you need something?”

“I want you to eat one of the fruits. It doesn’t have to be a banana.”

“Doc, I grew up on a farm. I know what fruit is, and I don’t waste food. I’ll even eat the bananas, soon as I figure out how to open them.”

“Andrew, please. I don’t want you catching your death of scurvy.”

Andrew gave Dr. Jhandir a look like this was the most absurd thing he’d ever been party too, but he nevertheless took an apple from the basket. Instead of biting into its side, though, he held it by the top and took a bite from the bottom, core and all.

“What are you doing?!” Dr Jhandir asked, mortified.

“‘M eatin’ an apple,” Andrew said with his mouth full. “You jus’ told me to.”

“Yes, but…” it took Dr. Jhandir a moment to get over his shock enough to marshal his thoughts. “Don’t you know that apple seeds contain a bit of cyanide?”

Andrew took another big bite of the apple while he mulled this information over. Dr. Jhandir winced.

“Why d’you know that?” Andrew said once he’d swallowed. “No, you know what, don’t tell me. I’ve eaten plenty of apples in my life, Doc. If they were gonna kill me, they’d’ve done it ‘fore now. Besides, my mam always said there was plenty of nutrition in the applejack.”

“The what?”

“The applejack.” Andrew motioned to a part of the apple he’d already eaten. “Y’know, the bottom of the apple. The arse.”

“Andrew!” 

“Sorry,” Andrew said, with a smile that suggested he wasn’t sorry at all. “I don’t know how else to explain it.” He took another bite for punctuation.

“Well, yes, ah, that’s fine,” Dr. Jhandir said, still a bit at sea. “Enjoy your fruit. Good day, Andrew.”

As the doctor walked back to the stairs out of Andrew’s building, he swore he could hear chuckling behind him.


End file.
